You remember Mrs. Grubman? Sean and Christian haven’t forgotten her; they can’t. Just in case you have, she’s McNamara/Troy’s number one patient. I know what you’re thinking: “Hey, Charlie, how can I become a plastic surgery practice’s number one patient? Sounds fun!” Well, on TV, it’s as easy as… one, be insanely rich; two, don’t be above blackmailing your surgeons after they fail to remove a cautery tip before sewing you up (oops!); and, three… be addicted to plastic surgery! It’s just that easy. Of course, in real life, it’s even easier, because for real plastic surgeons, every patient is his or her number one patient. Corny, maybe, but true. Anyway, I’m going to call this episode…

The Queen B’s Knees

The show opened with “lunchtime liposuction” being performed on a high school cheerleader. C’mon! Totally unrealistic! They don’t have pockets of problem fat! And even if they did (they don’t), they wouldn’t have it removed over lunch (they would just break-up with him). Look, although lipo is a simple, routine procedure that over 320,000 men and women had done in 2003, it’s still a surgical procedure and is not to be taken lightly; it’s not like getting your nails done. Seriously. We’re talking about anesthesia, and at least a couple of hours of recovery. At least, that’s what I’m talking about. You know you can email me, right? Anyway, the amount of fat Nurse Liz disposed of? Yeah, that’s not being removed over lunch… although I’m sure some viewers had their dinner involuntarily removed during the liposuction videos.

Speaking of knees… they’re not like the hands or the face. Sure, they show the signs of aging, but you can easily cover them. The knees… c’mon, who thinks about them? Mrs. Grubman, that’s who. Hey, after something like ten or eleven surgeries in a six-month time span (unrealistic), she’s gotta be thinking all the time, because she’s running out of things to fix.

Unfortunately, there are things that even a plastic surgeon can’t fix. Such as? Such as deep-rooted emotional problems that cause you to feel like you’ve, “lost the race against time,” as Mrs. Grubman said. Unfortunately for her, a plastic surgeon can’t do his or her job – in this case the rarely performed knee lift – when a patient isn’t completely honest (or, when a doctor isn’t honest with his or herself). Mrs. Grubman hid the fact that she was taking anti-depressants. McNamara and Troy hid from themselves the fact that she probably suffered from Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), a condition in which the person is obsessed with an imagined physical defect. This culture of lies led to Mrs. Grubman arresting shortly after receiving anesthesia, ultimately suffering a debilitating intracerebral hemorrhage. She wanted something to work on and she got it – learning to walk and talk again. Moral of the story: don’t lie… to yourself or to your plastic surgeon.

So, what else happened in this episode? Well, we found out that Kimber’s cocaine career will have to be cut short because it’s caused a hole in the septum in her nose; we then watched some heartfelt videos of rhinoplasty as Dr. Troy fixed her nose. Oh, and it was revealed that Christian was raised Catholic… well, that explains a lot. What wasn’t explained was how he didn’t immediately burst into flames when he entered the church to witness his baby boy, Wilbur’s, baptism. Unfortunately, the boy’s biological father decided he wants custody of Wilbur – effective immediately – leaving Christian alone at the altar. Always a godfather, never a father.

See you next time.

Charlie Sheridan

Medical Editor and Consultant